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Mitt and Me: A Conversation with One of the Great Political Minds of Our...

This is an occasional rant that chronicles my disturbing obsession with Romney in the hope of a cure.

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Mitt and Me 2: Letter to Mr. Homunculus

This is the most recent installment in my series of rants against all things Romney. The cack-handed artwork is my own.

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Mitt and Me 3: Convention be Damned or Why Hurricanes are the Wind Beneath...

This is my latest diatribe/ thinly disguised cry for help. August 27, 2012. Dear Mitt: I write to express my disappointment at your decision to cancel today's festivities at the RNC Convention. I...

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Mitt and Me 4: The Mittcom

From the Guardian, August 17th, under the headline "Mitt Romney's tax returns: the 'voter fraud' theory": "Sometime in or shortly before January 2010 – that is, not long after he filed his 2008 return...

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Mitt and Me 5: Block the Vote

August 30, 2012 Dear Mitt: First, let me wish you all the best with your big speech tonight—I’m sure that your PowerPoint and bar charts are going to knock them dead. Second, and this is my reason for...

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Mitt and Me 6: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance Speech

I can't believe that on the single most important night of their campaign the Republicans cede the stage to the incoherent, interminable ramblings of a figure who has at best only a nodding...

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Mitt and Me 7: Stringing Them Along

Dear Mitt: For too long now we Republicans have been typecast as the anti-science party. Certainly, we find it easy to ignore “science” when it suits us, whether it be the flames blossoming from...

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Mitt and Me 8: Am I Undecided?

Dear Mitt: I write to you as a member of that sliver of the electorate that is so prized by both parties: the independent, swing, and undecided voter. (At least I think I am-- how can one be sure?) It...

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Mitt and Me 9: The Purge of Allegiance

Dear Mitt:     Since you yourself have described me as “one of America’s most notable Republicans,” (1)  I thought I would demonstrate my personal loyalty to the GOP cause by offering you some...

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Mitt and Me 10: Mittonymy, or There's No Smirk Without Ire

In Light of Recent Events, I have take it upon myself to extend the deadline of a recent New Yorker cartoon caption contest. Here are my offerings-- any other suggestions? Here's my first effort: And...

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Mitt and Me 11: The Day of Mittening

On hearing the words Romney and "secret video tape," one might be entitled to expect Mittens being caught in flagrante delicto with an underage dachshund. But this is so much better than even that. I...

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Mitt and Me 12: Putting on the Mittz, or an Elegant Solution to Your Current...

Dear Mitt: While you were perhaps correct in describing your videotaped comments from May as inelegantly stated, I concur with Our Spiritual Leader Rush that this current farrago represents a golden...

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Mitt and Me 13: Time and Tide

At a recent rally in Virginia, Romney supporters shouted down a protester who had the temerity to bring up climate change in relation to Hurricane Sandy with cries of "USA! USA!" Like a certain Danish...

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LaPierre's Record of Moderation

A useful summary of the more outré statements by the NRA's Wayne LaPierre, the delusional paranoid who unaccountably gets to testify in front of Congress today. These remarks seem to be taken from his...

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LORD VOLDEMORT "REGRETFULLY DECLINES" INVITATION TO THATCHER FUNERAL

(AP): Despite their strikingly similar policies and political philosophy, long-term Thatcher ally Lord Voldemort today announced that he would be unable to attend the ceremonial funeral to be held on...

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NSA for K-12

The Guardian has done sterling work in not only breaking the story of the global NSA surveillance program, but also in suggesting how children's literature needs to be updated to reflect the realities...

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World-Wide Where's Waldo?

No one seems to know if Edward Snowden is in Moscow or Cuba. If only there were some sort of global surveillance network for tracking threats to national security...Live Updates from the Guardian on...

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Prince Charles Accidentally Expresses Innermost Desires

Unaware that his mike is live, Prince Charles expresses his deepest desires...Prince Charles lets the mask slipThey are the remnants of a dying race who are intent on destroying all humanity. And the...

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Why Feminists NEED to watch "NAKED AND AFRAID"

Late at night, when my wife Ellen is in the bath and I am doing the dishes, I like to indulge my predilection for Very Bad TV, without receiving Ellen's patented "Why aren't we watching that...

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Senator Jim Inhofe of Oklahoma Wants ME

The esteemed Senator from Oklahoma, James Inhofe, just wrote to me with the following salutation:"I am getting ready to run for re-election and I need a good Oklahoman like you by my side." As you can...

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